Braving Mamahood

This time of year brings many uncertainties for me. Do I really need to study that? I wonder what my grade will be if I make __? Does Santa really exist? So many things to think about. The lame thing about thinking about things so much is that your old familiar friend, Worry, joins in the party. Worry is SUCH as Karen . My Pappy always says "Worrying is like sitting on a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere ." Very wise words. So what's my point? Can you guess what one phrase is the most destructible but also the most inspirational? W hat i f. What flippin if. What if I faint in the middle of my performance and everyone sees? What if I stub my toe on the sidewalk and then have to miss class because I have to go by the health center and then it's really embarrassing? ( maybe that was just me ). What if I make a 100 and I'm awesome? Guess where the destructible side of what if came from....did you guess Genesi...

Wow, it's been a while but in my defense this semester has been like quicksand . Like an ocean of projects, teaching, and fun bundles of time. I feel like I've grown up 3 years in the past 4 months. God has been rocking my world. Completely messing up my plans and life - so awesome . Might I tell you a bit about this? Good! Let's talk messes and plans and life. So as many of my friends know and joke about, I've been in this weird phase of wanting a child. Weird, yes? I know, I completely know . I'm not in a place in my life where I could be the type of mom I want to be to my children - so having one right now wouldn't be wise. Also, there's the whole I will have a husband first - and that's a whole 'nother stage of life. But I feel like we all go through phases like this. No, maybe you haven't been through this baby phase (at least at my age), but maybe you've been somewhere where you see what you want but know it's not time. You may ev...

*Sigh* It's been awhile since I've been able to step away from life and let you in on my journey. I must first tell you that I've missed you - yep, I have. And now, my nugget of a blog for the day. Have you ever participated in an exercise called Solarium ? To all you Campus Crusaders, I'm sure we can attest to it's awesomeness. Basically a bunch of pictures are spread out on a table or floor, each capturing random things, and you are asked a series of questions then pick pictures to describe your answers. One particular question that is asked if "What do you wish was in your life right now?" and every single time I do this exercise one of the pictures I choose is one of a girl running in a field with balloons in her hands. What does this represent to me? Freedom. Why do I desire freedom so much? No, not because I feel my parents are constraining or I feel like I live in a box - certainly not. I desire freedom because it's what I was created to des...

Have you met my dog Ginger before? Well, she has quite the personality and is quite the diva. She reminds me many time of how funny God is and how caring that He put so much creativity into making her, and she's just a dog. Today she took me for a wog (walking jog). And there is where we find our snack of insight for the day. In your walk with God or lack of walk with God have you ever felt like you were on some religious leash ? Like no matter what you do you are constantly reminded of where you can't go and what you can't do, etc. I know that we've all heard that "where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom.."...but why aren't we so free? While Ginger was walking me I began to realize that the closer she was to me, the shorter the leash, and the less she could feel the leash around her neck holding her back. But as she would wander a little away she would be reminded that I'm still holding onto her. Bam . Insight. The closer we are to God,...

In this world there are many different types of people....but you are well aware of that fact. Last week while jumping around...I mean managing the kids...on one of the inflatables, I defined two different types of people. There are Kyle's and there are Karen's. No, I'm not pointing out the obvious that there are guys and then there are girls. Kyle's can be girls and guys and vica versa. Kyles: Kyles are the guys that walk into the room and everyone yells "KYLLEE!". He's the guy everybody wants to be friends with but no body really likes. And no one can be mean to him because they all secretly want his approval. So you put up with his egotistical self and just blow it off as "Oh, that was SOoo Kyle!". Then...there are Karen's. Karens: The girl no one likes but she just happens to show up everywhere...without an invite. She's the girl that would find out about an event that is even marked as secret on Facebook but somehow she woul...

Have you ever walked into your messy room and wanted to just throw everything out and be able to breathe again? Yes, I know the feeling. When I moved back from college I found that my bed was the only place in my room where stuff wasn't piled high and for about 1.56 days I left it that way. But I cannot - cannot - get anything done in the rest of my life if my room is going crazy. Is that weird how one room's condition can effect the rest of my thoughts and my mood? The other night I was watching some good 'ole INSP with my Dad and Paula White was on there with an insanely good metaphor. She discussed how the word "Clutter" comes from the same root word as "Clot". As you can see, a blot clot keeps out the blood flow. Something as simple as a tiny clot in one vein can withhold life-giving nutrients from the rest of the body . For all of you who were extremely grossed out by that description...I totally understand (ask me about my relationship with needles...

Happy summer to my fellow free men out there, and to those of you still in school - it will be over soon...but for now we will dance around you in our freedom, possibly pointing and laughing at your AP exams and final projects. This summer marks something remarkable in my life - a HUGE chunk of time that is mostly unplanned and ghostly unknown. It's weird. I'm not sure I'll be a fan of this summer. But you know what's cool? When you have so much time that you're not strangling to yourself, God is able to put some amazing adventures in your facebook photo albums. This blog for instance, is birthed out of time that I got to spend with my mom's side of the family this past weekend. After reliving my childhood with a good game of kickball, I went on a backyard adventure with my two younger girl cousins. The younger of the two is about 18 months so I still had to help her out when climbing up stairs and be near her to keep her balance. Here's is the coolness th...

Today was the first day in about 40 days and 40 nights...or something like that..that I was able to take an actual sabbath without any work in sight. It was glorious . I hibernated. After hibernating I went to the biblioteca to get a book that a friend had recommended to me called "Water for Elephants" . I'm already halfway through with it because it's quite interesting and I also want to read it before seeing the movie which is coming out soon, I've heard (starring Reese Witherspoon and Rob Pattinson.. umm hello ). Something I've begun to notice is that for me personally it is important to know about the author before I start reading the book. I like to know if they have kids, where they live, what's their story, etc. Why? Because for me it helps me to relate to the books easier by finding out their reasoning for writing them. And so *wa-la* I present a blog to you. I think everyone that has been in church for awhile or that's ever visited a church h...

My dog/diva/little sister, Ginger, is to thank for this one. So the next time you see her give her a piece of cheese or popcorn. Today as I was making myself a pb&j sand which (which I like to put chips inside the sand which, you should try it), Ginger wanders into the kitchen to find out what her puppy eyes can get me to give her. Normally, there is some potential piece of what I'm making that I can give her but today it was just a sand which and I knew she wouldn't like it. I turned to her and politely told her "No Ging, you wouldn't like this" but of course what did she do? She sat down and stubbornly waited. That's when God hinted at a little parable in my scenario. Can you guess where this is going? Probably so . Okay, so in this story we, as humans, are like my dog Ginger and the one preparing something is like God. Often times we sense God is up to something and follow Him into the "kitchen" to see what He's up to. We sit and wait fo...

] So there’s something about the beach and God, it’s as if He’s much closer in the waves then on land. Anyways, this time to just sit out on the porch and listen to the waves is like having God sit right beside me and chat. This morning we had a chat and in peaceful way He told me to do something potentially chaotic . It went something like this: Me: Hey God! What’s up? *Insert God saying something cheesy like “Me! I’m ‘what’s up’” ( ha-ha-ha )* God: Anna, this is what I want you to do today, *dlkjfoieljfoj* God telling me stuff Me: …um, okayyy. But…how is that going to be beneficial? I don’t understand. God: I know. Trust me. Ehhh… He stumps me every time . Do you want to know what He told me to do? Here goes...He told me to write out things about every guy I’ve ever liked and to diagnosis what went wrong and all the mistakes I made. Also to look at why I liked them and the amount of time I was spending with Him during these times. Did you just turn ghostly pale? ...

So for all you Fine Arts people, you know what time of the year it is - state ! Today as many of you back home are presenting these things you've been working on for months and as you anxiously await your performance time, I pray that you will all remember who you are doing it all for. This being the first year in 394739 years that I haven't done Fine Arts (because I'm too old now..*sigh* ..) I began to remember what God did last year in my life during state...and I want to share it with you. Months and months of preparation went into last year, it was my senior year so I had to do many categories and give it my all. By the time February rolled around I had a killer human video, hilariously witty small drama (written and performed by two of my best friends and I), female vocal solo, songwriting solo, and of course choir. This was the first year I felt completely confident in all categories and I was stoked to perform them. The Sunday before we had a run-through of everyth...