Horrible, No Good, Very Bad...hunger.


Okay, so you know that book ---->

Well, that's pretty much been my week. Let me tell you about it. Last week I was dealing with the beginning of what was a sinus infection-ish thing. So I was still trying to get over that when I was hit with a physics test Monday. Tuesday I had a LOT of work to do for Wednesday...then I was hit with a stomach bug, hooray!! So I couldn't eat anything and I didn't feel like studying for my impossible math test which was on Wednesday. Wednesday I had to be professionally dressed for my 8am education presentation, then 9:30 class, then math test, then getting my physics test back. And I had to go through all of that while having eaten nothing in 24 hours and feeling very weak. And this morning in my 8am lab my professor decided to keep changing which formulas she wanted us to use so we had to keep re-doing our work. AHHHH. Yeah. Is this blog entry to complain to the masses? No.

I am ever so thankful that God can turn anything, and I mean anything, into good. While I was listening to the live Prayer Room from IHOP (you should click that and enjoy) God hit me in the face with a revelation. The kind of revelation that occurs only when you go through bad experiences. I realized how much I had utterly had to depend on God this week because my body and my circumstances failed me miserably. So many times I just wanted to pack up and go home and be safe. But my safety and comfort does not come from home or from running away from my circumstances, but it's in completely throwing up a white flag and saying "God, only You can make this good."

"In the day of my trouble I will call to you, for you will answer me." - Psl. 86:7

If you know me at all you know I eat ALL the time, honestly. I am hungry all the time and starving about every 1.5-2 hours. So if I'm not hungry or don't want to eat, you know something is definitely wrong with me. To get something like stomach bug is the worst possible thing, because not only do I not want to eat but I am unable to. I wanted more than anything to just eat something and not feel so weak. But I was reminded in those moments that when we are at our weakest, God is able to be the strongest within us. When we are weak, we are less of ourselves and so God is able to be greater because we are less. *ah ha!* Yes.

"But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we do." - 1 Cor. 8:8

In the Bible it talks about how God "fills the hungry with good things" (Luke 1:53) and in that context Mary is probably talking about how He feeds those who are hungry and provides for them. But when I read that it struck me that when we are hungry, He feeds us with good things...He reminds us that we can fill any need with Him - and He IS good. He feeds us with good when we are weak and cannot see any good.

In the midst of my stomach bugness, there were times when I was so hungry but didn't want to eat anything because I was afraid of what it might do to me. Isn't that how we feel sometimes spiritually? We are so beyond hungry for God, but sometimes we're so past the point of hunger that we feel numb. And when we do realize we are hungry for Him, we're afraid of what He might bring up in our lives that we don't want to face. Don't be afraid of that hunger, jump up and down! Hunger is a sign of needing something more to fill you. If you are hungry spiritually, you are not lukewarm or numb - you are alive and in need of something to help you stay alive. The only thing to help you recover from the weakness that hunger has left you in, is to eat and regain strength. Remember, God fills the hungry with good things, so if you are hungry - (like an Italian mother would say) eat something! Be fed.

Today, I ate breakfast and lunch.


"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." - Psl. 73: 26


P.S "Please Come" - Nichole Nordeman (my songwriting hero)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Case of the What If's, Sam. I. Am.

Image
This time of year brings many uncertainties for me. Do I really need to study that? I wonder what my grade will be if I make __? Does Santa really exist? So many things to think about. The lame thing about thinking about things so much is that your old familiar friend, Worry, joins in the party. Worry is SUCH as Karen . My Pappy always says "Worrying is like sitting on a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere ." Very wise words. So what's my point? Can you guess what one phrase is the most destructible but also the most inspirational? W hat i f. What flippin if. What if I faint in the middle of my performance and everyone sees? What if I stub my toe on the sidewalk and then have to miss class because I have to go by the health center and then it's really embarrassing? ( maybe that was just me ). What if I make a 100 and I'm awesome? Guess where the destructible side of what if came from....did you guess Genesi...
Read more

The Meaninglessness of Motherhood

Image
Motherhood is a great honor and privilege, yet it is also synonymous with servanthood. Every day women are called upon to selflessly meet the needs of their families. Whether they are awake at night nursing a baby, spending their time and money on less-than-grateful teenagers, or preparing meals, moms continuously put others before themselves. - Charles Stanley Last Fall I had been struggling with feelings of guilt and frustration over my current situation as a working mother. I would get up early, get myself ready, get Farryn up and ready for daycare, go to work, leave work way too late, come home and make dinner, then do the bedtime routine, and then work on lesson plans until my eyes couldn't stay awake. I was exhausted and miserable - which made my home miserable ( when momma ain't happy.. .). But I had worked SO hard to get my teaching degree and make something of myself in the education world. One morning on the way to work I heard a voice in my spirit ...
Read more

When God leaves you in Home Depot

Image
Hello world wide web, bloggers, friends, and romans. Oh how I have missed blogging and releasing my inner thoughts and heart. With the help of the cold weather, a heavy heart, and a pumpkin spice latte ( plus free wi-fi) I come to you again. When I was a kid I used to love this time of year because I would help my parents do the fall yard work and go to Home Depot to buy plants and goodies. I remember one time in particular that I was with them at Home Depot walking through the aisles and we passed the paint mixing section. This is a really cool place because you get to see all the paints mixed and poured and it's beautiful to see what the result is. Well as a child I was easily entertained watching things so I got so mesmerized and just stood there for a million minutes ( in kid time ) and watched. When I finally refocused again I realized I didn't see my parents anywhere. Where did they go? Why did they leave me? Were they even in the store anymore? That's how I have fel...
Read more